On Halloween and the Cycle of Life

I know this is my second post in one day. But sometimes you have so much going on that you have to write in your diary twice. And sometimes you have a boring life and you just write for the sake of writing. Well both things happened this time. I was bored the first time I wrote today, and this time, I actually have something to write about.

I got the job! Hallelujah! OK ok so that was spelled really bad, but thanks to spell check, that bad spelling goes away!. I'm really glad I got the job I really really am. But...I'm scared at the same time. What if I can't do he job? This is my last effort at working. I want to make my own money so bad it hurts. I want to be able to buy my family their Christmas presents. Most people buy their family their own Christmas presents, or at least start to, when they are like 15. I think I paid for my families Christmas presents once, the summer I was 15, when I worked at an amusement park, and after that it was down hill from there, as my RSD got worse and worse.

My sister comes home from the hospital tomorrow. Sigh...I hope she's better. Both my parents and her say that she's better. I just don't know how to believe that.

This coming Halloween will be the first Halloween spent as witch. If you don't know already know, Halloween is the highest of what we call high holidays. It is the day when the vial between the living and the dying is the thinnest. This is something I really need, as this year has really been the first year where death has so closely touched me. My Great Aunt Blanch on my dad's side died on Thursday. She wasn't just my great aunt. She was a really neat lady. She worked for my dad's business and the few times when I actual helped with the waitressing, I talked to her often. Also, I saw her at company picnics and stuff. Her funeral was today, and I didn't go. Frankly, a christian funeral doesn't do anything for me. I want to celebrate a person's life, rather then more their death. And, if you know anything about Paganism, we believe that death is not a sad thing, but rather another step in the ever turning wheel. When a person dies they go down to visit the god in the ocean between this life and the next. They ride along that ocean with the god until they are ready to move into the next life. Reincarnation isn't an instant thing like a person's dead then all of a sudden they are a new person. They spend time with their body and after that begin the journey of their own morning of the loss of this life, into the next. So really, I couldn't tell you when a soul goes into a new body. And really this is me telling myself that, because I've always wondered.

So that's where my life is going right now. Till next time, blessed be.