I'M BACK!!!!

Ok so I was told to try MySpace. I was told it's so much better then writing your blog on here because you get to customize it and blah blah blah....

The truth is the only real difference is you get to pick from a giant list of emotions how you are feeling, and then you get to pick from a very tiny list of things you are doing. What's a blog for if not for telling how your feeling and what your doing with your life. So on this blog I will say that I'm feeling excited that I'm back on blogger, tired because stupid insomnia is keeping me up again, excited because the tube is working, and sad for a whole bunch of reasons. Allow me to explain:

I've already talked about my excitement for being back on blogger so I think I'll talk about the bad stuff first, get it out of the way and end on a good note. The truth is that lately I've been thinking a lot about suicide. I haven't really had a good heart to heart conversation with a really good friend in a very long time (that's probably because I only have a few really good friend that I would tell all this stuff to, J, P, and sometimes M, and they have their own lives so we hardly ever talk.) I'm still very slowly developing the new friendships I have, and until those turn into really good friendships or until they read this blog, they aren't going to hear about these types of problems. I mean sure, they are going to hear that I'm tired of not having friends, and maybe they will hear that one time a few days ago I thought about suicide, but they won't hear how tired I am of not having a lot of good friends, or about the fact that suicide is constantly in the back of my mind right now, making it hard to take my medication without thinking about it. Like I've said a thousand times before, when it comes right down to it I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I WANT TO LIVE! I want a job and friends. I want to make something of my life rather then just volunteering. I want to really work for these groups, make it my full time job. But of course my body can't handle an eight hour work day and no one wants to hire someone who can barely work for three hours straight without taking a nap. Sigh....like they say, same shit different day. Maybe that soldier was right, maybe this isn't something completely different, but just the same crap spilled out of a different mouth. But the truth is it's not. Not many people have heard of RSD and even fewer people realize that people who have debilitating disabilities like mine can get up every morning and at least attempt to make a name for themselves, and some actually do. But the repetitiveness is the reason why I'm not going to talk about the insomnia so if this is your first time here you're just going to have to deal with it.

The treatment that I am getting right now is called a hyperbaric oxygenation chamber, but I fondly refer to it as the tube. This is because all the treatment is is sitting in a tube for an hour and a half while they give you oxygen. THAT'S IT! And guess what? IT'S WORKING! The only side affect of it is that when they are slowly turning up the pressure of the oxygen your ears pop, and when they are slowly turning it down your ears pop again, but while the pressure is level you feel nothing at all. Doesn't that sound incredibly easy? I sure think it is, at least compared to needles and tubes going across my lungs and being put in a coma...

There are other exciting things to talk about, like the fact that I might soon be getting a home. I will talk about that on here, but if I can remember that site that has my list of goals on it (is it 43 things or 39...) I honestly can't remember and will have to go back in my database of blogs and find the site address. This is why you should never delete your old entries people! You never know if you are going to use them to look for a web site address you once used or even to write a book. I've heard about people doing that, taking their blogs and writing a book out of it. Right now I'm writing a fictional story that I may or may not have told you about, I'll have to check (see what I mean about keeping your entries!) But for now it seems that I am finally tired, and I'm going to try to run to bed so I don't loose this feeling and end up having to find something to do at 4am. So till next time dear readers.

Blessed be!

I'VE MOVED!

I've moved! Look for my blog on Myspace (I hate that I have to go there, but since I many of my friends, old and new, use it and love it, I'm going to be there from now until I decide to go to a new blog, come back here, or just never blog again. Look for Andrea (yes now you know my name), artistinme82, or just search Myspace blogs for anyone of the many topics you have seen, or just go to http://blog.myspace.com/artistinme82 lol! Hope all you loyal friends follow me!