Another Step Forward

It takes a lot more time then one thinks to do most things. When it comes to trying to be happy or trying to be more confident, it seems to take forever. So then there's those times when you when you make a step, even if it's a very small one. People always think they should celebrate when the end goal is achieved, but I say it is so much more the journey that makes it worth while. I know I sound like a Hallmark card or something, but think about it. Everybody wants to get to and is happen when they graduate right? But then you forget all the good times you had on the way there. All there is after you graduate is work, and there is no end point where you can say "I did it! I'm done!" I think people need to start looking at how far they've come in a journey, even, as is the case with me, they only took a step, and they have many more steps to go.

On 43things (www.43things.com) I have two goals that are extremely hard to work on. They are the goal of being happy and the goal of being more confident. Well, I think today I made a step, and I'm going to celebrate it, so here's the story:

As you may or may not recall, I belong to the Lancaster Coalition for Peace and Justice (LCPJ). They had a giant party today to raise money for people to go and protest the school of the americas. (if you don't know what that is, type "SOA" into a search engine. I don't have the time or energy to explain it). The idea of this party scared me to death. There would be loud music, lots of people, vibrating floors, and masks. Worse still (or so I thought before I went to the party), I couldn't wear a mask as it bothered my RSD. So I decided that I would go to the party early, help set up, and then leave once it got crowded. Well it was started at 8pm. I got there at 7, and guess what! I didn't leave till ELEVEN PM! I'm so proud of myself. I talked and laughed and even gave out the web site address for fighting "4" us. I felt happy and alive, surrounded by people who think like I do. And because I know all these people think like I do and are very cool about my disease, I got more and more confident.

OH! I DIDN'T TELL YOU! When I told them the mask hurt my face they were like "well we'd rather you be here without the mask then not be here with the mask". HOW COOL IS THAT! Talk about a confidence booster!

I felt so good at the party. And part of the reason I felt good may have been because the floor didn't start vibrating till right before I left and because I took a "just in case" heavy duty pill so that I wouldn't start unnecessarily hurting, but that doesn't matter. I was the one talking, I was the one hanging out with them, and the best part is, I was the one they wanted to see. YES, THEY ACTUALLY WANTED ME TO BE THERE! It was a really, really good night. One that I may not remember forever, but at least helped me take another step. It helped with my confidence, my quest to make friends, and most importantly it helped me come closer to being happy. Not bad for being somewhere for four hours...:)

Till next time, blessed be!