A Snipit of Conversation

Have you ever put the thoughts into your brain that swirl into different voices and kinda played with them, sort of made a script about how they would talk. Cartoon creators do this all the time, for example the Simpsons has a classic line from Lisa's brain when Homer said something dumb. Her brain said "I know, I heard it to, just let it go. Here's some nice music for you to listen to." And her brain happily plays Bach or someone like that and Lisa's face resumes to one of contentedness. Notice what happens when Bart tells her she has to go to school. "Why...she says dreamily...I'm so much happier here..." Ok so I may have gotten episodes confused and she may have been thinking of something else when she said that but the point is that I think we all imagine the little voices in our heads. I order for me to explain my somewhat silly and content mood right now I will tell the story of what is going on in my head right now.

The night shift is just starting, and little green men bring in large cups of coffee to their desks when they notice the smug look on my face. "My my my," says one "doesn't she look happy today?" A woman in the corner shakes her head. This is the day conscience. She hasn't left yet on account of the phone call I just hung up with. "Yes she does look happy doesn't she? Damn it this happens every time she talks to him" "Oh, says the one, she's talked to J. recently has she?" "Just got off the phone" says conscience. "Why I'm not more insistent on making this go away I have no idea." "Oh come on," says the one. "How can we interrupt this happiness?" Day conscience sighs and shakes her head. "I suppose we can't," she says, yawning. "But since I'm leaving it's no longer my concern." "What's no longer your concern?" Two more people have walked into the room. "She just got off the phone with J." Day conscience says. Night conscience just shakes her head. "Why I'm not more insistent on making this go away I have no idea." Sexuality, the other person of the two that have just come in shakes her head happily. "Have you read this conversation?" She asks, turning to night conscience. "Not only can we not fight to let this go, we must fight to keep it alive!" "If only for your sake right sexuality?" Says night conscience. "No, for mine too." Says a voice. It's night feelings, coming in late, day feelings having left when the phone call turned to sex. "If I have to deal with this loneliness day in and day out, the least I should have is someone far away that I know is thinking about me."

This conversation will go on and on all night. It's one of the reason's I can never get enough sleep. I need to feel loved, is that so wrong? And frankly, I need to feel a sense of sexuality. And if the one place it's coming from is a man who is married, if he has permission to do it, I say I should do it. I'm not going to try to stop myself anymore.

So you've had a clue into my brain. What did you think? Some people think that if I found the right audience then I could write a book about my life. So I've been trying different styles of writing ever since. This one is alright, but I don't really think it's me. Maybe I should just stick to the one I have been on since the last paragraph, straight talking, no sugar coating or bull shitting about it. I honestly wish that more people read my blog. It would be interesting to know if more then one person actually thought I could make a book out of my life. Maybe if I dig around blogger world long enough I will find someone to comment back and forth with, and then my following will grow. Or maybe not. Well, till next time dear reader, readers, or voices in my head. And Blessed be