Ending On A Good Note

I'm just going to come on here and talk about whatever I talk about, cuz I really don't have a specific thing that I have on my mind!

So what did everyone think of the last two blogs? I wish more people would comment on this site. I know that I say I don't care one way or the other if people are reading this, but I honestly tell people to read my blog all the time and if seems like no one ever does! If certain people that are always online but never out of "away" mode notice that I am online at the same time they are free, if they would come to the computer and tell me what they thought of my blogs and generally say the hi how are you thing that would be really great!

When I used to belong to a UU youth group we used to do this thing called "good thing/bad thing" where we had to tell one good thing and one bad thing that happened during the week. I always wanted to say the bad news first, so that way I ended on a good note. I think I'll do the same here.

Again, for those who don't like hearing gross things, they may want to skip the next paragraph.

As you may or may not have read in a blog a while ago titled "it's going to get a little gross in here" I deal with constipation on a regular basis. I have been trying to deal with this problem by eating the right things and taking something called Miralax, which for most people would give them the runs if they took it every day but I take it everyday. I will say that it has become easier to go. This, however, does not mean that if I don't push as hard as if I'm pushing out a baby something will come out, but at least it's softer and doesn't hurt. This causes nice sized hemorrhoids. Well today I thought I had to go to the bathroom. I thought that what was going to come out would be very soft, as I have been very good about taking my Miralax. So when I pushed and I push and it still felt like it was stuck half way out and half way in, I was surprised, not to mention scared. I really thought it was...well...shit that was coming out, b/c every time I whipped I got a little bit out, but here what I was really pushing out was one of the biggest hemorrhoids I have ever had in my life (How did I find this out? Well my mom, who came up stairs to see if I was alright, after a while had a peek and noticed what it really was. And if you think that at my age mothers should no longer do this. then I'll ask you to push something that felt bigger then a bread basket out your butt, and then ask you if it's ok that your mom checks to see if it's really what's supposed to come out or a hemorrhoid. Or maybe you just want to sit on the toilet waiting for what's really nothing to come out, you go right ahead, but me, I'd rather have my mom look.). At the time I went to the bathroom I had told the people that I was talking to online that I would "brb". Well when I came back and was unable to sit back down, I wasn't about to carry on an entire conversation with them standing up while I waited for it go back inside, so I simply went to bed.

Ok, those who weren't looking may look now, because all I'm going to talk about is my lack of a job. Sigh...I know I shouldn't blame myself for loosing the IRS job but it really does feel partly like my fault. I should have studied the weekend in between the time we had our first two classes and the time we had our third. But, in my defence: 1) After two four hour classes on day one and day two, I was simply too tired to look at anything else IRS. I mean, help me out those who went to college, if the first two days of a class you are taking is really intense, do you really spend the weekend studying just in case there is a pop quiz? NO, I didn't think so. And 2) Help me out college and former college students, do you expect to have a major test the third day of the class after the first two intense ones? I don't think so. And if there were going to be such a major test, don't you think the teacher would tell you about it? I thought so. I really really thought that when the teacher told us to look over the stuff that we would eventually (key word in this sentence: EVENTUALLY and END)be taking at the end of the class was a suggestion, as a way of keeping the stuff you learned fresh in your head. But remember, there was supposed to be another four hour class after the weekend was over. I think that's enough keeping it in our heads don't you? And yes, they do have to test people so they know what they are doing, but that's why there is a test ON THE LAST DAY! There was literally Thanksgiving and another weekend in between the time this test happened and the time of the test on the last day. I honestly was planning on studying the material on said days.

So now on to the good news. I MADE A FRIEND! And when I said that before, I really don't think that I should have said that. Really all that I had met was an acquaintance. Since meeting him, although the times that I have talked to him have been really nice, we really haven't talked about anything serious, and haven't really talked at all more then ten minutes at a time, at most. This guy is someone from the LCPJ named M., who I have known of since I started going to meetings. We had never talked much, but when we emailed he was really really cool to me. So when the RSD in my lungs was flaring up and I couldn't sleep (as you may or may not have read in my blog), M. turned out to be my hero and talked to me for something like four hours straight until both of us were tired. And no, we didn't talk about how bad the pain or the fact that I couldn't sleep was the whole time. I told him what was going on, that all I needed was someone to talk to about anything they wanted (which was the truth) so that I could stop freaking out about how bad I hurt. At one point I did get serious, and I told him about really needing to make friends fast. Basically I told him that the one true friend that I can count on right now is going back to California in something like six days from now and that if things got bad there would be no one there for me (except for my parents, but help me out internet world, it's different right? I thought so) and how awful it may me feel that the reverse was happening with J. He listened the entire time, not asking if there was anything he could do but instead giving me the occasional "wow that sounds bad" or "uh-huh" which if you hadn't noticed was exactly what I asked for in one of my blogs! At the end of the night I said to him "well, I am really tired, but I think now I will call you a friend" and guess what he said? "ME TOO"! How awesome is that?!? I actually made a true friend! He told me during the conversation that if I ever needed to do it again he would be there for me, though I did tell him my worry with all people that say that, that eventually they all leave. I can't remember what he said to that, but I know that he believes that he's not going to leave. OH! And someone else said something to me about that tonight! He was like "well I haven't left yet have I?"! So I guess I really am starting to make friends! This rocks! Screw the hemorrhoids I had a good day!

And I can truly say that because today I actually got to take out my sax and play with people! While the poor old girl did give a few squeaks and swacks (does anyone know how to spell that?) people who were playing with me told me it sounded really good! And all I was doing was improvising! We were practicing to put together the new LCPJ (I don't really know if we are going to be affiliated with the LCPJ or not but all the members so far are with the same group so...well whatever) protest marching band called "Harmonious Discord"! I don't know if I spelled that right, hopefully spell check will take care of it but if not oh well.

I know what your thinking. "How can you march? What about your RSD?" Well M. actually told me that he would find someone who would push a wheelchair for me! And my sister S. said she would do it! So there! *gives raspberry* LOL I told M. how I feel I owe it to my sax to play b/c she's basically (and yes, my sax is a she. Don't know her name yet, but she is a she) kept me walking in high school (tell you that story later) and he was like "well then we have to get you to play!" How much does that rock!

A good day for once! WooHoo! Hope everyone else had a good day and/or is having a good day. And here's to ending on a good note! Blessed be!