I'M A PAGAN!

Well it finally happened. I finally celebrated that I decided to go Pagan. And while I did take a year to study it, there is so many other things that has led up to this moment, I can not begin to put them all in a blog.

For a long time, I was very scared of Pagans. for about eight months during and immediately following my senior year of high school I dated a boy who claimed to be a druid (a type of Pagan). Trust me when I say that his version of Paganism is a very scary thing. I have since learned that what he truly is is a devil worshiper, something that is definitely not Pagan (stay tooned for a lesson on how to tell the difference in the symbol!).

Still, I have always had a love of things that one would find in a store that sells to Witches, such as long flowing skirts, big beautiful cloth wall hangings, and the like. And when I lived in Frederick there was a store downtown that I fondly refer to as "the little Witch shop" (it was actually called As You Wish) because it was just so cute and tiny that carried all of those things, and just happened to have lots of books on being a Pagan. You may or may not believe me, but before I was strong enough to deal with the memory of Pig (that's what I'm calling him, and trust me, that's being nice...he's not innocent) I could actually feel him in the room. There is something that I believe in where a person can project to somewhere they are not. To this day I still wonder if he tries to find me by projecting. Maybe it's all in my head, but the memory of this man is something that I take lightly.

Then came the summer when I went to a Pagan festival. That was the day that I was able to throw my head back and laugh, realizing that Pig had no idea what he was talking about. That was the day I decided to take a year to study Paganism. I collected book, wrote about it and thought about it pretty much everyday. I am not a person who chooses their religion, as I think many people do. I wanted to choose something that not only made the most sense to me, but also fit into my idea of humanity at large.

While I was studying, I made sure I kept one rule in mind: if I'm going to choose ANY religion, it has to agree to my beliefs in the human spirit. Then I came across something that said that the first rule of Paganism is to harm none. Well that took care of that worry. But would I be able to do it? Even after choosing a religion, I believe you should dedicate yourself to it, trying to know all that you can about it, and really be into it; otherwise you are just telling yourself you are something your not. I then realized that Paganism is very much a "work at your own pace" kind of religion. It is one that believes in much study, and while it does believe in the possibility of making magick happen, it also believes that only with much training will it work completely and the way you want it to.

Paganism works for me. It feels good, and that's really all that should matter. Celebrating that good feeling seemed something that would be an obvious thing to do. A friend of mine joined and we had good food. I went out to lunch with my friend (we'll call him Blaine) and roasted marshmallows over my dad's fire pit. It was a good day, and now I know I made the right move.

A word on types of magick and the difference in a Pagan and a Devil worshipers symbols. First, there are people who claim to be Pagan that practice what is called black magick. Black magick is magick that is done for evil In my opinion people who practice black magic are not real Pagan's because of the first rule of Paganism is to harm none. Magick that is good is known as white magick. It is meant to help, not harm people and the person that performs the magick.

Second, a Pagan and a devil worshipers symbol are very similar. The Pagan symbol is known as a Pentagram. It is a star with a circle around it. What is important in the difference in the symbols between it and Devil worshipers is both the circle (a Devil worshipers symbol does not have a circle) and the fifth point (the one that is pointed up). In a Pentagram, the fifth point is pointing up. In a Devil worshipers symbol (I don't know what they call it, I'm not a Devil worshiper), the fifth point is pointing down.

Thanks for reading all of this and coming along as I tell you how I celebrated becoming a Pagan and why I am a Pagan in the first place. I hoped you learned something, and I'm sorry it's so long!