Reflecting

I'm not sure how to write this. It's funny. Whenever I don't know how to write something I just say that. Maybe I should just write how I talk in this thing and if anyone has a problem with that tough. The problem is, I don't know how to say that in the real world. I don't know how to tell people that if they don't like me, they can go screw themselves, so I am constantly trying to conform myself to everyone else's way of looking at the world.

Well not completely, for some reason if someone isn't liberal and someone stands in the way of something changing that I believe is the way it is supposed to be, politically, spirituality, 9 chances out of ten, I will tell them so. There's just certain topics that I'm just not sure about. People have brought up good points that I just concede to their good points. Not doing that is not debating correctly. At least in my opinion.

And when I finally get to meet people who think like me, somehow I don't know what to say to them. At least now, because as it turns out the way I've been handling things has been wrong. It used to be people would say that to me, and I didn't agree. Until today, when I did it "write" and just went with the flow.

Let me tell you, I got more laughs and more people just sat there and actually listened to what I had to say then I have ever have. EVER. I felt wonderful. I felt beautiful I felt...WANTED. Not that if I wasn't there today they would miss me, but that if I wasn't there say the next time, they might say "hey, where's that one girl" and the next time "Andrea would have liked this" and before I know it, I have some quality friends.

Wow. Friends. I have had some in the past, but usually, we don't make real plans. They usually don't do the same things I do. They aren't really...I mean we don't have...what's that word...ah...things in common. And this is happening with a whole group of people. It feels wonderful.

Yes my steps are small, and yes, a lot of my old friends who I still talk a lot of drama to might not notice, but the point is I notice: and it makes me feel good.

Nothing else matters, and that's what I should be learning.