The Difference Between Want And Need

I really need to do this more often. I forgot that when there is no one to bitch at, putting it out on paper really helps.

I tried to call J. again today. He told me when he went back CA that he wouldn't have a lot of time to talk. Still a good voice that I know understands my voice and will talk to me about anything but the pain just to keep my mind off is something I really really need.

But I guess it's just a want. Just like my sister constantly wants drugs, I constantly want someone to be there for me to talk to. She's in a rehab center right now (this is N., not S.), one that is for people who are addicted to drugs that are also bi-polar. I really hope this one works because I can't handle one more cycle of yey she's better, she's bad, she's worse, she's awful, yey she's better. I just can't handle it anymore. But you know it isn't the rehab center's fault. Even if some of them really don't know what they are doing, if my sister found a shrink that she liked and stayed with him or her for a while instead of saying they don't like me, and stayed with a job instead of insisting she had to leave because "everyone's just too happy".

Oh, and I do have to make this note. I do not, nor have I ever believed, that it is wrong to drink on occasion. My grandmother saw her father abuse every single one of his children except her. She saw how her brothers and sisters grew up into alcoholics themselves that again abused everyone in the family. Yes, alcohol can cause horrible things to happen. But if I want to have one drink every week while my family and I watch football there is nothing wrong with that, and, if you are over age, there is nothing wrong with you do it either dear reader.

And, dear reader, if you are involved in any kind of grass roots organization, be it one that is part of our government or tries to put in a new government, and no one is doing any of the work, trust me, I know what you are going through. But that is enough for this time. I don't feel like going into a long dissertation. Till next time. Blessed be!