What Really Matters

I know. I haven't been writing lately. Boo Hoo. The truth is that whenever I think about writing in here I get too tired from reading the thousands of emails that I get a week (and that may not be an exaggeration) from the liberal groups that I belong to. And I don't blame them, I want to make the world better too. But frankly, you don't have to be online all the time, sending one word emails about how outraged you are that G.W.B. did something stupid AGAIN.

I guess the real reason I'm bitter is because sometimes it seems that these people don't concentrate on the things that are most important. Ok, yes, they are constantly saying how good the friendships are between them, but when something awful happens to one of them,it doesn't seem like they take the time to try to help that person. Like at the last meeting, one of the women was crying because her pet bird was sick. Ok, so that's not the most important thing in the world but it sure is to that woman, and if that's what gets her through the day so be it.

Ok so yes, there is other things on my mind besides liberal issues, but for some reason, I don't want to talk about them. Maybe it's the fact that someone (usually me) is constantly sick in my family. Maybe it's because of the fact that I really don't have a lot of information, but for whatever the reason, I'm avoiding the subject. But for those few people out there that I know read this blog, I will tell you what's wrong:

There is something wrong with my heart. It's called Mitral Stinosis. Apparently the Mitral valve in the heart opens and allows blood to go through and then move to the other artery to get oxygen and the whole thing starts over again. That's roughly how it's supposed to work anyway. Well it seems that my heart is BOTH not letting out enough blood while at the same time letting some back in when it's not supposed to. So far we don't know how to treat it because I need to get more tests done.

Here's the part that makes me really angry though: This was not discovered until I started having really bad chest pains and this hard thumping in my chest. No it wasn't my heart, well, not my heart beating correctly anyway. What it was was an extra beat, followed by a pause while the heart figured out what was going on, followed by a hard beat. We only found the problem with the valve when I had an echo and a stress test done. We don't know how bad it is yet, I have to get another echo followed by a test that involves sticking tubes in my veins and checking how hard the valves are opening and closing, that's the way I understand it anyway. Anyway I was starting to tell you what makes me angry about this and then I got off track, but here, finally, is the reason I'm really angry:

This is not a problem that just cropped up. The Cardiologist actually said that "This didn't happen over night." Now let's think about this; I've been in the hospital how many times? Been in a drug induced coma, and had surgery by the time I was four years old AND NO ONE CAUGHT THIS. This could have been fixed years ago in the younger years of my life that most people never remember (like when I had my first surgery at the age of FOUR!).

So I wish I could just concentrate on liberal issues that in the huge scheme of things don't matter, because really the only thing that matters is being happy and if you let politics get you completely down all the time then you're going to be down for the rest of your life, you know what I mean?

If you go back many entries you will see the story of my families health problems, and why I am tired of someone (usually me) being sick. But for now I'll just say blessed be and play a game till I'm tired enough to sleep, ok?

Blessed be!