Sometimes The Only Thing You Can Do is Swear

I've been talking to a friend about writing my own book. She says (we'll call her "M") that I should write a satire self help book on how to get through life with RSD. It would be a satire because basically the only way to get through life with anything is to try; and darn it, that's all I've been doing all my life.

(Tomorrow)One full month and a few days since I found out there is something wrong with my life I'm going to find out what I should do about it. I'm scarred to death. So is my family, they just don't say it out loud. They're scarred about a lot of things though. They're scarred my sister (N) will never beat cocaine. They're scarred that my RSD will never go away. But right now they mostly worry about my heart and my sister. Call me stupid but it took a while for me to realize most hospitals have to cut your rib cage open in order to do anything with your heart. The good thing is that there are major hospitals in places like Philly, Chicago, and Hershey medical center, that are changing the mytral valve by going at it on the side. The recovery will still suck, but at least it won't hurt as much as trying to recover from cutting your rib cage open with RSD.

There is some good news, however. My parents are buying me a house. It's a cute house too, just perfect for me. I've always wanted a rancher but we didn't think that was possible. Then along comes this semi-detached rancher (meaning it has another house connected to it on one side) and wa la! Instant house (well not instant but you know what I mean). There is just two problems:

First, the woman selling it wants to buy her next house without dealing with a Realtor, which means she's going to have to find a house that is being sold by the owner, which isn't easy to do. Second, she has three weeks to find a house and if she doesn't she can take back the sale! If I didn't have my sister's (N) cocaine habit or my RSD or my heart to deal with this might freak me out. But you know what, this is really small on the scale on the things that matter. I can't believe I admitted that but damn it it's true! And when there are so many other things to deal with and it's once again blocking you from being happy and getting what you want out of life well...

Sometimes the only thing you can do is swear!