Competing Sides in the Same Person, Part II

Alright so it took a little while, but here it is, the second part of my story about my two sides. Now that you know what names I call them, let me get into specifics about their personalities.

If you know anything about astrology, then you probably have already guess what their personalities are. Still, you don't know how they work in my mind, and why they seem to mess me up so bad that I had to devote two entire blogs to them, and big ones at that.

Lets look at the Gemini, because she's often easier to deal with. Gemini is the quieter of my two sides. She is intelligent, like both sides are, and like both sides, she has her own opinions. Unlike Sagittarius, however, she likes to keep her opinions to herself. This is because Gemini is the part of me that wants everyone to be her friend. She would much rather be a member of the political spectrum, and if being a third party doesn't get her enough friends, then she will readily push the objections she has with the democratic party aside, and agree with everything they say. Hmmm...Come to think of it, maybe there is bad sides to Gemini...Maybe if I was completely a Gemini, I wouldn't be as strong as I am in the fact that I can take a republican telling me I hate America. Anyway, Gemini is the part of me who would rather be an interior designer then a lobbyist. There just isn't the same amount of arguments and lost friends in interior design. To tell you the truth, while I'm very glad to have Gemini around in order to keep me sane and not get me into too much trouble. Still, on to Sagittarius.

Sagittarius is just the opposite of almost everything I just said. Despite being extremely intelligent, she often says things long before thinking about them. Sagittarius is the part of me that if someone doesn't like what I do or say, then tough, we don't need them. She is the part that nearly turned me anarchist. Still, it is also Sagittarius who wants to be a lobbyist, and realizes (with Gemini's prodding) that you at least have to believe in a system somewhat before you are going to fight a system. Sagitarius's nickname, or one that she calls her self, to all of her anarchist friends is the "mole from within" the one who takes away the parts of the system that are corrupt from the inside out. After all, you need both. You may think that there are no good sides to Sagittarius, you may say "why do you need her when you've got a perfectly good person in Gemini?". But the truth is, if I was just Gemini, I wouldn't have a backbone. I already let some people walk all over me, if I was just Gemini I would let everyone walk all over me. Even if my dream as Gemini was to be an interior designer, the moment something bad would happen or someone gave a bad review of my work, the moment she would be out the door, never to design anything or create any piece of art ever again. I'm saying a lot about Gemini here, but it says a lot about Sagittarius. She is my rock. The one that I went to when the bill passed the senate in MSL (don't ask, WAY too long of a story), and the one that picked me up, dusted me off, and called Dan a disgrace.

They do work together! I just realized! That was one of those times that they did! The fact that Dan is an ass in session is where Sagittarius shines, and the fact that Gemini recognized that Dan was being a wonderful friend when he offered to change things when I didn't win party leader is where she soars.

But, and it is very hard to write this, there is a darker side to these two sides. Sagittarius is very head strong, and often wants to be the only one who exists, running everything I do. I have to realize that I can't be that person, for I would loose far too many good friends, and gain more enemies then I can count. Gemini, on the other hand, is the one who did not stand up for herself all those years when people made fun of her. She is the one who allowed people to say the things she should have, things she now comes up with...

I guess we all have different sides of us that we use in different situations. They are the "jury" when we say "the jury's still out" on an issue. The problem is not that I name them, the problem comes when I don't name them, and allow them to become me, and thereby controlling everything who I am.

Wow, this is a very long blog! If anyone actually reads this, and I doubt it, congratulations for getting all of the way through. Come to think of it, I should congratulate myself for writing all of this! Anyway, now that that is all out of me, I think I should go back to work. Till next time!

-Me